"You are a beloved daughter of God. He loves you." I've heard it a thousand times. I've never believed it. Why? I don't feel it. I've always turned my cheek when hearing that statement. I figure if it were true He'd tell it to my heart. That's not to say I don't believe it for you. I do. Quite a bit, actually. I know He loves you. Why would it be different for me? I don't know. I'm sure I've led myself to believe otherwise. I don't feel it, He must not, right? I heard it said again this past weekend and something hit me. Perhaps I don't feel it because I don't know what it is. My earthly father was physically in my home, but only talked to me when he could fathom a reason to yell at me for something I normally wasn't even home or in the room to do. If you have never felt what "rough" feels like, me telling you "sandpaper is rough" wouldn't mean much to you. So maybe hearing "He's your father, He loves you" has no feeling because it's a bit foreign.
I have always had this notion in the back of my head. I also always quickly pushed it back there because I thought I was making excuses for myself. I'm not sure what happened this weekend to bring it to the forefront of my brain, other than maybe He was confirming what I already knew. Maybe He was telling me I can know that. And now that I do, it makes it easier to hear. I can hear it now and know why I don't feel any different when I hear it. Maybe it's not Him leaving me invisible. It's an earthly weakness, and maybe if/when I meet Him someday, it'll just be that much better.
No comments:
Post a Comment